Dread Cthulhu, Overlord of Land and Sea


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I HAVE DISCOVERED SOMETHING THAT PERTURBS ME
plotting
i_fhtagn
I ASK YOU, WHAT IS THIS?

I DO NOT BELIEVE IT. THESE INSOLENT HUMANS MUST BE IMMEDIATELY GOTTEN INTO LINE. I SHALL DEVOUR THEIR SOULS AND SOUR THEIR DREAMS! THEY WILL SUFFER UNKNOWN DEPTHS OF MADNESS AND PAIN! THEY WILL BE PUNISHED BEYOND ALL KNOWING!

THIS EMBARRASSMENT HAS ME FUMING. I THOUGHT THE INTERNETS EQUAL TO MY EVIL. IT APPEARS THAT THEY TOO MUST DISAPPOINT ME. I WILL DISCONNECT THEIR BROADBAND INTERNET, DAMN THEM.

I WILL CRUSH THIS LANNISTER FELLOW. AND THEN I WILL HIT HIM WITH A BLUE BOWSER SHELL, AND HE WILL WEEP. I AM THE MASTER OF ALL MARIO KART ALWAYS. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. I AM A DREAD ELDER BEING. WHAT PART OF THIS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

NYARLAHOTEP THINKS I AM SULKING. I AM NOT SULKING.

BUT I SHALL EXTRACT DUE RECOMPENSE FROM ALL VOTERS. THEY WILL SUFFER GREATLY. AS SOON AS MY NOTEBOOK STOPS FREEZING.

IT HAS NOT BEEN A VERY GOOD WEEK. I THINK I WILL GO READ SOME ANOMALY. AT LEAST THEY DO NOT FOOLISHLY MOCK ME. WHEN THE STARS ARE RIGHT ALL YOU PUNY DENIZENS OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB WILL TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH.

AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT THIS TINYLINK BUSINESS I THINK I WILL RICK ROLL THEM ALL. AND GO LISTEN TO MY MICHELLE BRANCH CD. SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME.

AT LEAST THE HUMAN IS NOW FACING A DRAGON. I HOPE THE BEAST FEASTS ON HIS BONES. IT WOULD GIVE ME GREAT SATISFACTION AND JOY, AND I WOULD SIPHON THE SWEET MARROW OF HIS SOUL FROM HIS DYING BODY. AAAAAH, YES.

ALSO, WHAT IS THIS FIVE CLICKS TO JESUS? I DO NOT COMPREHEND WHY NO ONE IS PLAYING FIVE CLICKS TO ME. I AM THE SUPREME BEING.

NOTICE: THIS MOCKERY WILL CEASE AT ONCE. ALSO, NAOMI NOVIK HAS MOCKED US AND MUST BE TORMENTED WITH VISIONS OF THE VAST UNKNOWABILITY OF SPACE. FINALLY, REMIND DAGON TO GET THE CHIPS AND SALSA, THE BASTARD TOOK ALL OF THEM LAST TIME HE WAS HERE AND DELETED MY SAVE ON ZELDA BESIDES.

I HATE EVERYONE SOMETIMES.

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Aaaaw, poor Cthulu. Here. I hope this little tribute cheers you up. *pat pat*

I am so tempted to reply to this with my Morgoth Account. >.>

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