Dread Cthulhu, Overlord of Land and Sea


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THIS IS NOT FUNNY
i do not look like this, this is not funny
i_fhtagn
YESTERDAY I LEARNED ABOUT THIS 'GOOGLING' PHENOMENON AND MADE THE DECISION TO GOOGLE MYSELF

WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE? I THINK HUMANITY MUST HAVE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN WHAT I, DREAD CTHULHU, LORD OF THE DEEPS, STAND FOR. I AM NO LONGER VIEWED WITH FEAR AND LOATHING. I THINK THIS MUST CHANGE. HOWEVER, IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO INFLICT HORROR UPON THE WORLD WHEN ONE IS SLEEPING LEAGUES BENEATH THE SEA IN THE DREAD CITY OF R'LYEH. THIS HANDICAP IS QUITE UNFORTUNATE.

HOWEVER I HAVE SEEN ALSO ON MY EXPLORATIONS OF WHAT IS APPARENTLY KNOWN AS 'THE INTERWEBS' THAT I MAY HAVE SOME RIVALS FOR SUPREME RULER OF THE UNIVERSE. THEY SHOULD PROVE NO DIFFICULTY, BUT SOME OF THEM LIKE THIS DARTH VADER FELLOW - TOGETHER WE SHALL RULE THE GALAXY? NO THANK YOU. I AND I ALONE WILL RULE THE GALAXY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

THERE SEEMS TO BE A DISTINCT LACK OF TRUE CULTISTS THIS DAYS. I THINK I MUST BEGIN CULTIVATING THEM. HA HA HA. CULT-IVATING. THAT IS A PUN.

...I AM SINCERELY SORRY FOR MY ATTEMPT AT A SENSE OF HUMOR.

MOST TERRIBLE OF ALL, HOWEVER, WAS THE DISCOVERY OF THE ITEM KNOWN AS A 'CTHULHU PLUSHIE'. PEOPLE. I FEEL THERE IS A NEED FOR SOME CLARIFICATION HERE.
  • I AM NOT PLUSH AND SQUISHY. I AM A DREADFUL, ABHORRENT BEING OF SLIME. 
  • NONE SHALL BE SPARED WHEN I RISE TO ASSUME MY RULE. THE AUTHORS OF WEB COMICS SHALL BE FIRST TO DIE. EXCEPT FOR 'ANOMALY'. THAT ONE QUITE AMUSES ME.
  • I AM NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. THAT IMPLIES A DEMOCRATIC RULE. MY RULE WILL NOT BE DEMOCRATIC. IT WILL BE TERRIBLE.
AND NO THAT IS NOT AS MANY AS FOUR TENS. STFU.

THIS KEYBOARD IS QUITE INFURIATING. IT JUST IS NOT BUILT FOR MY TENTACULAR ELEGANCE. THIS IRRITATES ME.

NOTE TO SELF: AFTER WEBCOMIC ARTISTS AND THOSE 'LOLTHULHU' PEOPLE, DESTROY KEYBOARD MAKERS. THEY ARE CLEARLY AN ABOMINATION.

ALSO, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THESE 'MUDKIP' THINGS ARE AND WHY PEOPLE LIEK THEM? 

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